How Baby

I was thinking a lot recently about the various emotions people ascribed to me when I was pregnant and a new mom.
You know how the dumb joke is to blame PMS whenever a woman has a reaction to bullshittery other than compliance? Like, the bullshittery always existed, it’s just that our willingness to put up with it is lower. Being hormotional during pregnancy/post-partum is like that, but up to 11. There’s so much generalized bullshittery about motherhood – physical, emotional, and social – and you’re just expected to smile and bear it, because it’s the miracle of life etc etc.

It got pretty wearying when I’d finally push back about something, and I’d just get a titter and a ‘oh, wow, you’re so emotional! must be those hormones!’ like. LIKE. It’s possible that I am both hormonal AND you’re being a smeghead? But oh no, it’s just my dumb little hormones, so funny.

So the bullshittery gets added to the great big pile of stones you end up carrying around, because it’s just another thing you can’t talk about. Until eventually, something innocuous like a sad commercial comes on, and it’s safe to cry about that, so out it all comes. That joke about being a sucker for sad commercials is easier to bear than actually having to think about all the other things you’re carrying.