See, I used to say certain things. Like, I used to refer to my computer as my ‘baby’. I’ve had a hard drive fail twice since becoming pregnant, and each time I wrestle with what I would have normally said when I was younger, which would be something like “my baby is dead!” I just can’t say it any more. It’s bad magic, man. You can’t invoke those powers.

And a dress making me look pregnant? I wish. I’m still 20lb up from pre-pregnancy weight, so I’m actually pretty in the middle of a decently sized pregnancy. If I could make it look as good now as I did then, it’d be golden. Plus, I know what I look like with even more weight on, so the whole ‘ew, I look pregnant!’ thing isn’t a particularly good scare tactic any more. Been there, it was fine.