I was thinking the other day how I have immediate, visceral terror when Momo gets her hands on something small and throat-shaped, STILL, and got to thinking about all the little fears that have crept into my life without my noticing. Things I wouldn’t have thought to be wary of suddenly become extremely dangerous – did you know the style of dresser we almost bought for Momo’s room has killed like six children? A piece of furniture. What the hell, guys.

(Mom cred: we didn’t get that dresser because I opened all the drawers, leaned on it, and went NOPE NOPE NOPE. Instincts are good.)

I still remember the helpless feeling I got when I realized that there are things I don’t even know about. Did you know that you can’t take Advil when you’re pregnant? It literally turns off their heart. What. When was I supposed to learn that? No wonder new motherhood is so terrifying – everything is out to get you.