Pursuant to the ‘please, anything but Peppa, Daniel, and now apparently also Paw Patrol’ strip last week, I successfully switched Momo over to watching Dora. Dora’s grating, but in a way I can handle: I used to work as a party hostess at Chuck E Cheese, so repetitive songs and formulaic plots don’t even really register any more. And I’m apparently learning Spanish, which is a bonus.

She’s also been having some trouble getting the last of her potty training figured out, so I asked her, hey, what if you had Dora underwear? You don’t want to pee on Dora, right? And of course, the answer was no, and into my quest log went another sidequest.

I thought it’d be a simple matter of popping down to the Walmart to pick up a pack of Dora-branded ginch, but it appears I’m about a decade too late for widespread Dora merch. So, holding my breath and peeking through my fingers, I turned to the internet and typed in that unfortunate search string:  ‘dora underwear’.

Luckily, I didn’t uncover anything untoward… but if I wasn’t on a list before, I’m pretty sure I am now.

(And yeah. I’m the nerd who has merch from my own webcomic.)