How Baby

Since being laid off in the middle of summer, I’ve essentially become a SAHM again until Momo goes back to school. I was not expecting this to be a thing, again! Momo’s been going to daycare since she was 17mo, so having a 5yo in my space while I’m trying to work from home is… it’s a lot, geez.

So I’ve gone through the gamut: sadness at being laid off, relief that we don’t have to find childcare for the summer, optimism that this means we can have a solid domestic front again with one of us to tackle the inevitable Daywalker Chores, gratefulness to be able to spend time with Momo, and… guh, a lot of aimless boredom, honestly. It’s incredible how fast my sense of time and urgency deteriorated in just a few weeks. My routine has absolutely gone to hell.

I could be more compassionate with myself – I was really very burned out from studio work, conventions, and two comics in 2018/2019, and really needed this chance to recenter and reconnect with Momo, AND to rest. But also, wow, even my personal trainer was like ‘dang, girl, you need to get up in the mornings and go for a walk’. He’s not wrong.

I don’t wanna! I’m bad at being a SAHM! I’m bad at keeping a routine and engaging with Momo every thirty seconds! Guh, so much respect for people who are truly suited for this work, because it’s not me, oh noooooooo. I’m very much looking forward to when Momo goes back to school and we can both have stimulating (her) or calm (me) environments again.