How Baby

As long-time readers might remember, I used to travel solo quite often to attend conventions. I slowed down doing that when I starting working in a studio, and then completely stopped traveling entirely for about three years.

When I finally did travel again, during my whirlwind two-week work trip to GDC and London, I hadn’t realized that the memories pinned in my brain of coming home to Momo had calcified from moments almost four years out of date. Yes, of course I had been hugging her every day, and feeling her creep up almost to the height of my shoulders, but… I still expected, in my heart, to have to get on my knees for that moment of homecoming.

It had been a long, complicated, lonely, wonderful, extremely busy trip – a surreal and stressful time that took months to recover from. I’m not really one to show my sadness in public, but the morning I was finally going home for good I remember crying freely and openly right there in the airport, thinking only of how much I was looking forward to my homecoming hug. Remembering all the times I would drop to my knees as soon as I saw her and crush her little giggling body against mine.

Seventeen transatlantic hours later, my face was pressed into her middle, and she was giggling as she curled her body to rest her head on top of mine. On that airport carpet, I knelt not like a mother giving comfort to a child that missed her, but like a supplicant.

Just one of the strange and beautiful things you notice too late – that your child is growing up, and there are windows you don’t even notice are closing until they’re sealed for good. For the first time, for just a moment, I needed her more than she needed me – a glimpse into a future that seems, suddenly, very close.

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P.S.: …hello! Terribly sorry for the long, long break – I expected to take some time while we were traveling, then I was traveling, but unexpectedly took a few more months to battle some deep burnout. While I dig myself out of that, I need to focus almost entirely on Motherlover for the next few months – but I’ll be updating How Baby on Sundays when I can!