How Baby

I rarely feel like a Good Parent (who does?), but there’s something to be said for having thirteen years of experience. I don’t just know how Momo communicates, I shaped how she communicates.

Though, I’ve always had beef with orthodontists especially for this reason. Momo’s had braces for three years (and she’ll continue to have them for two more – they’re just off temporarily), and it feels like every one of them is determined to lie to her about how much it hurts. Like, Momo’s more sensitive than the average bear, but dental work hurts. Add in the sensory nightmare of people pulling at her lips and cheeks, and then add in their judgment when she’s in pain… it’s all just been awful. But worse than the pain is the sense of betrayal.

We’re with a new orthodontist now, and I didn’t let them rush her. It took two hours to take her brackets off – something they said would take ten minutes. This conversation actually happened, and I think it really surprised the technician working on Momo. But… I don’t think it should have. When you lie to someone in your charge about something like this, you’re destroying any trust they have in your judgment. If they know your advice is bullshit, they won’t listen to you when you’re trying to tell them something really important.

Maybe not important for a dentist, but it’s real important for a parent.

On the way home, I had this conversation with Momo about why I didn’t try to “comfort her.” I’ll always remember the look in her eyes when I told her anything else would have felt like a betrayal. She suffered for so long with the other orthodontists, forcing herself to endure their bald-faced lies and be tortured by their judgment, and the way she looked at me was just… relief. Relief that I understood her pain. Relief that I knew what she needed was assurances that the pain would stop, not that it didn’t exist at all.

I’ve always tried to be radically honest with Momo, about everything. It’s just… really nice to see it panning out in the way that I can still talk to her about hard things, and she still believes and trusts me.

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TRANSCRIPT

Panel 1: (Lindsay and a orthodontist technician flank Momo in a dentist chair)
Momo: Is getting my braces off going to hurt?
Tech: No! Just a little uncomfortable.

Panel 2 (Lindsay, from below, Momo’s POV)
Lindsay: Nah, dog. it’s gonna hurt a lot. It’ll feel like a strong pull on your teeth and some pinching from the instrument against your lips. But, it’s over in less than a second and it doesn’t hurt later. You’re strong enough to do this and it’s worth the pain, promise.

Panels 3-4 (Momo, close up, looks left in surprise and then right, in the direction of the technician)
Momo: Okay. I can do this.