Look, Momo gets sick a lot, and she doesn’t know how to blow her nose. So… we have to bring out the big guns when she’s really stuffed up.

Don’t let the smiling baby on the box fool you: if you listen to Momo, the Nosefrida aspirator (affiliate link) is apparently a method of torture on par with waterboarding and taking away small swallowable objects. “But it’s Swedish!” I beg, wrestling all of her eight arms and ten thrashing legs, “They’ve never tortured anyone! Assembling an EXPEDIT doesn’t count!” But it matters not. Apparently, literally sucking the snot out of another living person’s snotholes with the power of your own mouth is the worst thing you could do to them. Ever.

So, naturally, when I got sick, I had to give it a try.  And guys. Guys. It was a religious experience. 10/10, would beg Kev to suck mucus from my poor tortured sinuses again. Damn, this thing goes.  Chalk this one up to yet another thing toddlers don’t appreciate, along with naps and near unlimited access to boobs.

(PS: That’s love, huh? He sucked snot outta my nose. Sure, there’s a filter, but who else can you count on to do that?)